Away From It All
by hermionesmydawg
Summary: Kensi wants Deeks. Deeks wants Kensi. But everything that could possibly go wrong for the partners in the past year has. The unfortunate solution for their problems is communication, which neither are very good at. It's possible that some time away, just the two of them, can provide the clarity they need to move forward. Post Deep Trouble.
1. Chapter 1

**This first was originally a drabble in my Well Played series, but I got so many requests to continue it that (amazingly) I decided to do so. This should be a total of 5 chapters, updated regularly. Huge thanks to Aprylynn for the beta and thanks to Brenda for being pushy (in a good way).**

**I don't own the show NCIS Los Angeles, nor do I own the characters from it. If I did, they would have a lot more sex than they do. I mean, seriously, they're human. They need to get theirs.**

* * *

Tightly wrapped fists pounded the Nexercys over and over again, eliciting praises such as "solid, strong, great hit" until finally the animated body turned black and blue and the screen flashed "KNOCKOUT." That didn't stop Kensi from beating the ever-loving shit out of the paddles until the screen just shut itself off completely. Maybe she had delivered a death blow, or maybe she actually broke the machine. Either way, praise from an automated voice wasn't what she really desired. No, she just needed an outlet to release months of pent up frustration.

Deeks. Afghanistan. Jack. Deeks again. Life hadn't been easy for her lately, and if she tried hard enough she could convince herself that all of those things were the reason she was going full MMA on a defenseless exercise machine. Every punch helped her push her feelings further and deeper inside. Her deeper issues just weren't something she felt like dealing with at the present time. Those feelings weren't the reason why she felt the need to come to work early enough to avoid any questions about her apparent anger at a punching and kicking machine, however.

Her current problem was much simpler than the many complicated issues afflicting her psyche. She just needed to get laid. Pounded. Driven into oblivion. Her solo sessions just weren't cutting it anymore. A good deep dicking, that would cut the muster. A Marty Deeks deep dicking, to be specific. Unfortunately, she didn't see it happening any time in the near future.

Panting heavily, Kensi dropped her head and rested her hands on her knees. Sweat dripped in her eyes and on the floor below her, followed by a line of spit. _Disgusting_, but at least spit was better than tears. She grabbed the towel from the back of her shorts and wiped the mat clean, standing up to compose herself. Water. Cold shower. Coffee. Then she'd be good to go.

Unless Deeks was wearing an impossibly tight shirt and jeans again. Then she was screwed, and not in the way she wanted to be.

* * *

Staring into the small bathroom mirror, Kensi pulled her ponytail down and fluffed her coif. She knew she had fantastic hair and wanted to show it off as much as possible. Not that she was feeling jealous or...no, that was a complete and utter lie. When Talia del Campo made her presence known earlier by immediately hugging Deeks, her spidey senses started tingling and a thousand questions flooded her brain. But she kept her cool and smiled at Talia's brash behavior at their crime scene, waiting until she could be alone with her partner to question his assessment of the very attractive DEA agent.

Deeks probably didn't deserve the physical beating Kensi had been dishing out to him all day. Maybe one punch was justified, but certainly not 4. Apparently she hadn't done a good enough job of taking out her sexual frustration in the gym that morning. The fact that Deeks had decided to paint his clothes on (seriously, how did he even pull on those jeans) wasn't helping her unfortunate situation. Every single flex of his muscles could be seen clearly and was making her feel even more sex-deprived than before.

The last punch was the worst, and she knew it. She was already wound up so tightly that she thought she might pop at any minute. But something else happened entirely during that conversation, something that shook her to her core.

_"She's beautiful."_

_"You're beautiful."_

Her heart fluttered like a fucking butterfly had just broken free from it's cocoon in her chest. So she reacted violently again because she didn't know what the hell else to do. Their "relationship" had been somewhat of a roller-coaster ride lately: exhilarating and nauseating at the same time. Not that it was excusable, but that butterfly beating against her heart reminded her that she wasn't just horny; she was lonely, too. And the one person that she wanted to fill both of those voids was currently standing outside the doorway in the NCIS boatshed talking with Big-Titty Talia.

Kensi grunted and dug into her pocket for her Burt's Bees lip shimmer, puckering her lips as she applied the glorified chapstick to her mouth. It wasn't for Deeks; primping for him was unnecessary. They were at the point in their non-relationship now where the mutual attraction was understood. The problem was that they were both too fucked up to figure out how to act on it again. Beautifying herself was for Talia's benefit. She may be sexy, but Kensi was sexier and was the one that Deeks really wanted. Hopefully.

Popping open one more button at the top of her shirt, she forced a smile in the mirror. "Hey partner, my ass," she gritted through her teeth. It was possible that Talia was a perfectly nice and competent agent who had nothing but friendly or even strictly professional intentions when it came to Deeks. Either way, Kensi was not about to let that bitch have her partner.

She swung open the door and sauntered out confidently, only to see Deeks and Talia laughing and smiling at each other. He even looked like maybe he was blushing, and the conversation quickly ceased as she joined them. Were they talking about her? Or worse, were they not talking about her? Neither one looked willing to share the details as they shared a glance with each other and then at her.

_Well, wasn't that just...fantastic._

* * *

Peace could always be found in a pint of ice cream. Or actually, a gallon of Chocolate Cookie Dough ice cream, chocolate sauce, and whipped cream after a long hot shower. Comfortable Victoria's Secret pajamas and 10 Things I Hate About You completed her evening plans as Kensi finally sunk into her couch for the night. If she was okay lying to herself, she could almost be convinced that this was a suitable replacement for a mind-blowing orgasm. Almost.

Patrick's devilish smile made her mourn the beauty that was Heath Ledger but she figured that after the hellish day, she should just be happy that she wasn't mourning the loss of her actual friends. It seemed like as a group, the team at OSP just had some sort of special luck that enabled them to get out of even the most dangerous situations alive. Usually, anyway. She feared the day when their luck would run out again.

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Kensi shoved another large spoonful of ice cream in her mouth (avoiding rubbing her swollen lip) and turned her attention to the adorableness of Bianca and Cameron. A tweeting sound, her text message alert, from her phone startled her. Another tweet followed soon after. She groaned and extended her arm to grab the phone from her coffee table. It was Deeks, of course.

*So*

*Today was pretty weird huh*

Kensi grunted as she typed an answer back.

*No shit Sherlock*

She smiled, knowing her response probably prompted a laugh from her partner.

*Wanna talk about it*

*?*

No, she didn't want to talk about it. What would she say, that she made an ass out of herself? That they almost lost two of their best friends? That a small part of her hoped that Hetty's trip to Washington would force their Operations Manager to open up about the true nature of the White Ghost mission? All of those things were true, but Kensi didn't necessarily want to discuss them via text message. She still didn't want to tell him no, though. If they were going to try to be better partners and maybe (eventually one day that couldn't come soon enough) more than that, they needed to communicate better.

*If you want to*

About 30 seconds passed before she heard the tap tap tap of knuckles on her glass door. The sound startled her off of the couch and she stood in the middle of the floor, looking at the disarray surrounding her. Deeks was used to her apartment being a disaster, but she herself was looking worse than usual that night. She ran her hands through her damp hair and smoothed down her skimpy yet horribly wrinkled pajamas. A drop of chocolate sauce smudged down her shirt and she hissed, stomping to the front door.

Deeks' hand was raised and prepared to knock again when the door swung open. Kensi looked him up and down slowly, noting his change of clothes into a more casual tee shirt and shorts with flip flops. He must have gone home before deciding he needed to pop in on her unexpectedly to...talk.

"Am I invited in or...you just going to keep looking at me like you've seen a ghost?" Deeks asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kensi blinked and moved to the side, motioning for him to enter. "Not sure if today is a good day for ghost jokes, Deeks." She stood with her hand on her hips, using her long fingers to cover up the chocolate stain on her shirt, while her partner easily made himself at home on the couch. "What are you, uh, doing here? Exactly?"

He shrugged. "Today was rough, had some stuff on my mind. I can leave though, if I'm interrupting something important like-" Deeks picked up her ice cream, took a bite, and pointed the spoon to the television, "ice cream and 90s teen flicks."

Curling up as tightly as possible in the corner of the couch to avoid any accidental contact, she glared at him and snatched her ice cream back. "You know me. This is how I relax. And this movie is awesome, by the way."

"It is pretty epic. And you're right. I do know you." He watched enviously as Kensi shoved another bite of ice cream in her mouth. "And I should have known better. You don't share."

Well, that could have been taken multiple ways. Kensi chose to pretend he was only referring to the ice cream. "My ice cream," she teased with a smirk.

"Yes, you have made that...abundantly clear," he responded, eyes twinkling.

Kensi held his gaze silently and took a final bite of ice cream before tossing the container on her coffee table. She turned her attention back to the movie even though she could still feel Deeks' stare melting her skin. "Hey uh, you got a little bit of-" he pointed to her face, "chocolate."

"Oh." Twisting her tongue out, Kensi licked the wrong side of her mouth. "Get it?"

"No no, it's right..." Deeks leaned close to her, brushing her cheek with his thumb. She couldn't stop herself from closing her eyes and parting her lips at the contact. "There."

Oh no, there was the butterfly again. This time it was accompanied by an unmistakable warmth spreading between her legs. Kensi may have even whimpered. When she opened her eyes, she saw that Deeks was eyeing her curiously with his head cocked to the side. Oh yeah, she definitely whimpered.

"Are you okay?" Deeks smiled for a second, then puckered his lips like he didn't know what type of expression he should be making.

"Yeah, no, I'm-" _Lonely. Aching. Horny. Wet. Dying a little inside._ "fine. I'm fine."

"Fine. Of course." He ran a hand through his messy hair. "Listen, I probably don't need to say this, and I know you didn't ask, but I just need to get it out. There is nothing going on with me and Talia. That's just kinda who she is, ya know? She doesn't hold back and loves to get a rise out of people. No pun intended."

Kensi snorted. That was what she had suspected, but it was still nice to hear confirmation. "I didn't ask because I never really thought there was. I guess it's not really my business-"

"No, it would have been your business," Deeks interrupted. "I lived pretty much like we were in a relationship while you were gone. We never defined it, but that's how I acted. So to me, that would have been...cheating I guess."

Kensi was about ready to kill that damn butterfly. "So what the hell happened, Deeks? How did you go from that to-" she motioned between them with her fingers. "This. The non-relationship that has all the disadvantages of a real relationship and none of the benefits."

"Benefits?" His eyes were twinkling again and his fingers started tracing circles around her ankle that was closest to him. _Bastard_. He was trying to distract her from the question she desperately wanted to know the answer to. Give it to Deeks, he was one hell of an operator; it's probably why he was such a good undercover cop. Kensi let him get away with it this time, partly because she knew he would talk when he was ready and partly because just that slight touch from him was driving her up the wall and she kind of loved it.

Kensi cleared her throat and changed the subject herself, hoping he wouldn't notice how flushed she was becoming. "Ahem. I think I need to apologize. For treating you like my punching bag today. I've been a little...frustrated, but that's not really your fault." That was a lie. It was his fault. She was just too much of a chickenshit to tell him the truth and possibly face the same rejection she received from him the night he returned her knife.

"Okay," Deeks said slowly. "Um. Apology accepted then."

"Good."

"Good."

The silence that followed was awkward and seemed to last for ages. It was as if they both had so much to say but neither had the balls to say it. Kensi contemplated pouncing on him and ripping his clothes off, because damn he was irresistible and so close and still touching her. For once she practiced self-control and stayed frozen in place, though it was the last thing she wanted to do.

"I should probably get going," Deeks broke the silence but failed to move.

Kensi's heart sank. The flutters were gone. "Sure. Okay. It's late anyway, and it's been a long day."

"So I was thinking," Deeks continued, much to Kensi's confusion. "We're both due a vacation soon. I know I have more hours than I can possibly ever use. Sam and Callen will probably be forced to take leave for a couple of weeks, but after that...I mean, I didn't know if maybe you wanted to go somewhere, to get away from it all. Like Lake Tahoe. Or Wine Country. Some place where we could just relax and clear our heads of everything that's happened."

And as quickly as they'd disappeared, they were back again. Kensi smiled and tilted her head. "Just the two of us?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding his head. "If you want to."

She nodded with him. "I'd like that." In fact, she'd probably start packing as soon as he left.

"Great. That's great." Deeks removed his hand from her foot and stood up, leaving her feeling a little bit sad but even more excited. Standing up with him, she crossed her arms and followed him to the door. "You know everything's going to work itself out, right?"

A statement with multiple meanings from him again. Work. Hetty. Them, individually and together. He actually seemed optimistic for the first time in a while. "Right," she answered.

An amazing smile flashed across his face as he walked backwards out of her apartment. "G'night, Kensi."

His smile and optimism was contagious apparently. "Goodnight, Deeks," she returned softly, matching his grin.

As she closed the door behind him, Kensi banged her head three times on the wooden frame before dragging her feet back to the couch and plopping down with a thud. Her situation hadn't changed that dramatically from the beginning of her day. But life definitely looked like it was about to take a turn for the better.


	2. Chapter 2

**I still own nothing. Deeks would wear shorts to show off his beautiful legs every episode if I did.**

* * *

Pulling up next to Deeks' Jeep at his apartment, Kensi anxiously fidgeted with her blue tank top and white shorts while giving herself a pep talk. "Be sexy. Be strong. Be cool. Don't be stupid." The former two always rang true; the latter two, not so much. Especially with Deeks, where her level of stupidity often rose to meteoric heights. At least she was aware of her stupidity, and could make a conscious effort to not repeat past mistakes.

She pushed open the door to her personal car, a 1995 Honda Accord that had seen much better days, and climbed out with her lone travel bag. The ability to pack lightly was something she took pride in and had always impressed the (very few) men she'd gone on weekend trips with in the past. Besides, on most of those trips she didn't plan on wearing many clothes anyway. While she had somewhat reigned in her intense need to be able to sing the Bang Bang Bangity Bang song, she really hoped to have the same luck on this vacation as well.

_Chill out, idiot_. From what she could guess, this trip was supposed to be about clearing their heads and talking so they could work their issues out, not having wild monkey sex. Not that she would complain if the end result was wild monkey sex. She just needed to mentally prepare herself that the heartbreaking solution to their problem might be for them to not have a relationship outside of work at all.

Work, now that was a sore subject at the moment. Sam and Callen were back from their mandated time off, but Hetty was placed on administrative leave without pay for a month after all of the details of how she manipulated the White Ghost mission came to light. She admitted her fault in the grand scheme of things, and claimed she would use her time away to reevaluate her priorities. "And organize my antique weapons collection," she had said with a tense smile. It was unknown whether she would actually be returning or if she'd ride off into the retirement sunset in her Jaguar. Whatever happened, Kensi didn't hold any grudges; she'd spent too much of her life doing that very thing, and life was just too damn short to do it again.

Sighing impatiently, she pulled her phone out to text Deeks to hurry the hell up just as the door to his apartment opened and he trotted out in a white tee shirt, army green shorts, and flip flops with a backpack on his shoulders. And wow, sunglasses were a wonderful invention. For Deeks, his Oakleys just further enhanced his sexy surfer boy appeal. For Kensi, they hid the desperate lusty stare she couldn't help but give him as he strutted towards her with a smile.

"Good morning," he said cheerily.

"Morning," she replied. "You finally ready?"

"It's not my fault you're early."

"You said 10:30."

"And it is," Deeks looked at his watch. "10:29."

Kensi made a face and rolled her eyes. "Just. Whatever. Where's Monty?"

"Nell came by to pick him up for me this morning."

"Did you mention-"

"That I'm going on vacation with you?" Deeks interrupted her with raised eyebrows. "No. And she didn't ask."

"Cool. So, yeah. Where are we going?" He rolled his eyes back at her and tossed his bag in the back of his jeep. "Whoa, what are you doing? We're not taking that piece of shit of yours."

"My piece of shit?" He raised an eyebrow. "It's better than your piece of shit. And we can enjoy the fresh air."

"So does that mean we're not going to get a lot of fresh air on our trip?" She tried to pry out of him.

"So impatient." He truly had no idea. "We're not sleeping outside, if that's what you're asking. I don't sleep outside by choice unless it's on the beach and not alone." Kensi crossed her arms and started tapping her foot. "Fine. It's not that big of a deal, anyway. Solvang, it's about 2 hours from here."

"Yeah, I know where it is. The Danish village city? Really?" Kensi pursed her lips, intrigued. It wasn't what she expected.

"Yes. Is that a, uh, problem?"

"Nope, not a problem at all," she answered, shaking her head. A question flashed in her head over and over again: what were they going to do in that small city to keep themselves busy for an entire week. This could be promising. "Now, since I know where we're going, I can drive."

"Or I could just drive since this trip was my idea in the first place," Deeks argued. "If you don't like the jeep, we could take my bike."

Bike? "I'm sorry, what?"

Deeks pointed to the parking space on the other side of his jeep. "It's a," he paused dramatically. "Motorcycle."

Kensi hadn't even noticed the return of the Triumph Bonneville Hetty had confiscated from him. While Hetty had been ruthless in her acquisition of the bike, she had been very thankful that Deeks couldn't ride it anymore. Until now, anyway. Although the thought of riding with their bodies pressed together for a couple of hours...no. Not worth it. "How? When? Why?"

Almost appearing offended, Deeks placed his hands on his hips. "How, because I have the bill of sale and a loan note with my name on it and she no had legal right to take possession of something that I own. When, a few days after her leave began. Why, why would you even ask why? Because it's my fucking bike and I'm trying not to let anybody, not Hetty or Granger or Bates or even you, control my life anymore."

Her face flushed and all she could do was stare at him, dumbfounded, because of his passionate outburst. Embarrassing as it was, assertive Deeks was kind of hot. "I. Well. Okay then."

"Wow, sorry," Deeks said, laughing awkwardly. "I didn't mean to kinda snap at you like that. Sore subject, I guess."

"We're cool." Except that they were both so the opposite of cool. Hot, very hot, in more ways than one. Kensi tossed her bag in the back of his jeep next to his. "You can drive. But not the bike."

Nodding with a smile, Deeks opened the squeaky passenger door of his jeep for Kensi. "Good compromise, I guess. Though it would have been fun to ask you if you wanted to go for a little ride." A wink completed his sentence.

Climbing into the jeep, she couldn't help but tilt her head curiously. "On the...bike?" Hopefully not just on the bike.

Deeks' answer could be found in his devilish smile as he hopped in next to her and cranked the noisy engine up. Sighing, Kensi rolled her eyes and pulled an elastic hair band from her pocket. The sideways glance he gave her as she twisted her hair into a bun was subtle, but not subtle enough that she didn't notice and feel a little giddy that he was checking her out. She may have jutted her breasts out a little more than necessary, just for good measure.

"You ready?"

"Ready," Kensi answered. She tried not to dwell on the way the wind blew through his hair, or his calf when he pushed in the clutch, or how his muscles flexed and his hand gripped the gear stick as shifted from first to second to third to, oh yes, fourth.

Good Lord, she was ready.

* * *

Yeah, it was a little awkward. When the pair walked into their room at Svendsgaard's Danish Lodge, a quaint place right in the center of Solvang with similar traditional Danish architecture to the rest of the town, they saw that there was more than one option for sleeping arrangements. There were two full beds in the room, leaving the possibilities a little too wide open. It didn't help that both of them were just standing and staring at the beds without a clue of what they should do next.

"Well, this looks like a problem for Future Marty and Future Kensi." Finally, Deeks broke the silence, unzipping his bag and placing his folded clothes into the small dresser drawers.

"You're a dork," Kensi replied, tossing her unopened bag into the closet. "But agreed."

Deeks pointed to her bag. "You're not gonna unpack?"

She shrugged. "Why bother?"

Opening his mouth to comment, undoubtedly something about not even putting her clothes away in her own home, Deeks was quickly shushed by an evil look from him his partner. His mouth closed with a pop and he continued to unpack.

"Are you hungry? I'm hungry," Kensi stated, falling back in dramatic fashion on one of beds.

"Um." She may have landed somewhat spread eagle on the bed. He was definitely staring. "Yeah. I could eat."

Oh, Kensi was proud of herself now. Not so much because she was toying with him, because they've done nothing but play games with each other the entire span of their partnership. The upper hand is what she was proud to have. When she was in control of a situation, she could better control her own actions. So as quickly as she'd bounced on the bed, she jumped back up and met her partner eye to eye. "What do you have a taste for?"

Only mildly intimidated, Deeks stood tall, almost stiffly, with his gorgeous roommate-for-the-week in his face. "Anything you want." He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. "Though obviously we'll have to, ya know. Eat out."

Kensi's eyes widened slightly. Well that...that just was completely unfair. Why did everything have to be so competitive with them? Was it even possible to have a horny competition, and how the hell would one determine a winner? She couldn't let him gain the upper hand on her after she'd worked so hard to keep herself under control. It was fun, but unless he was ready to dine on la cuerpa de Kensi at that very moment, she needed to put this on hold. "Ahem. Right. I need a beer."

And with that, Deeks visibly relaxed. "Beer sounds great."

* * *

"I'm just saying..." Kensi blinked and pointed to a mustached man to her left. "That I don't like that kind of facial hair. It looks like a 70s pornstache."

"Okay, what about that guy?" It was Deeks' turn to point a little too obviously at a very large bearded man sitting at the bar of Randy's Tap Room. "Does that tickle your fancy?"

"Tickle my who?" Kensi giggled, and then laughed because wow, she was so tipsy that she actually just giggled. Kick-ass federal agents do not giggle, and they especially don't giggle when they've been drinking the better part of the day with their smoking hot partner. The same smoking hot partner whose leg was creeping so close to her own that his fine blond hairs were starting to...well, tickle her. "That's just...ew. That would literally tickle my fancy."

"Nice." Deeks attempted to lean back in his small wooden chair but ended up in more of a slumped position. "That guy," he said, pointing again.

"Billy goat, gross."

"That dude."

"I think that's a girl."

"Damn. So, that girl?"

Kensi rolled her eyes and tried not to smile, but a smile had been permanently on her face ever since Deeks hijacked a Segway from a tour group. Long story, but Ms. Ellis from Fayetteville, Arkansas would have been pissed it it hadn't been for his California charm when he returned it to her. "Seriously?"

He shrugged. "Thought I'd ask."

"So are you satisfied now about the facial hair?" His leg was nervously bouncing about under the table, tickling her even more than before. Even with the amount of beer she'd consumed (and lost count of) throughout the day, Kensi resisted the urge to slip her flip flop off and slide her foot up the loose legs of his shorts. Barely. She was tipsy, but not drunk enough for that. "It is hardly ever a good thing."

"That's not a never."

"Nope."

"So there's an exception."

"Possibly."

Deeks grinned. "Are you having deja vu?"

Kensi took a swig of her beer. "Totally. I feel like we've talked about this but I deleted it from my history."

"Like, internet search history?" Deeks slouched even lower in his chair and smoothed his hair, unruly from a day of walking in and around all of downtown Solvang in 90 degree weather. "Is that where I could find Mr 70s pornstache too?"

"Shut up, I don't look at porn."

"Liar."

"Am not."

"Are too."

Narrowing her eyes, Kensi fingered the wrapper on her beer bottle. It was funny, and only occasionally annoying, how Deeks sometimes reverted back to a silly, almost innocent creature when he drank. "You're like a twelve year old."

"Your mom's a twelve year old," he quipped back, finishing his beer with a grin.

"That's mature."

"Your mom's mature."

Kensi grunted and shook her head. "I don't even know what to say to that."

Sitting up in his chair, Deeks leaned across the small wooden table. "I'm the exception, right?"

"Um-" Pausing, she debated whether to go with her natural instinct and react coyly, or to let the beer do the talking and just be honest. The beer won. "Yes."

His face reflected a much more serious expression than just a moment before. "Not Jack?"

The question caught Kensi off guard. Jack? Her literal white ghost was coming back to haunt her. She and Deeks had so much to talk about, and so much that she just wanted to forget ever happened. That was the easy way out, after all, repression. Couldn't they just be normal and just have drinks and sex and possibly maybe a relationship like regular people do, without all of these complications?

"He had a beard," Deeks continued, drawing the word beard out a little longer than necessary.

"Yeah, he did." She cleared her throat. "He didn't used to have one. That was different, too."

"Too?" The beer suddenly didn't appear to be talking for him, as he seemed sobered by the shift in conversation.

Sighing, Kensi adjusted to a more upright sitting position. The faster she got it out, the sooner he would drop it. "Yes, too. The Jack you met was not the Jack that I knew. And yes, when I saw him I flipped out. I wanted to save him, because I couldn't save him before. But the man I was engaged to just-" She chose her next words carefully. "Doesn't exist anymore. If there's one thing I took away my mission, it was closure with him. We went through a difficult time together, and having him there kept me alive I think. But I realized that when it was over...I just needed to let him go. Finally. Things have become a lot clearer to me lately."

Seemingly satisfied with her answer, Deeks slouched in his chair again but held her gaze steadily.

"What are we doing here, exactly?" Kensi asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

"Drinking beer and talking?" Deeks looked confused.

She shook her head. "No. This trip. It was your idea. What were you wanting to, ya know, get out of this?"

Deeks smoothed his hair again and scowled at his empty bottle of liquid courage. "I uh, I guess I wanted to talk about us, at work and away from work. There are things I think I need to say before I can commit to anything, things that you need to know. And I needed to know where you stood with Jack because we didn't exactly talk about that either. So, thanks for crossing at least one thing off of my list. I guess this trip was to try to get rid of the distractions of LA and do the one thing we really suck ass at, talking."

"Okay, so then..." Kensi cleared her throat and finished off her beer. "After all of this talking you mentioned. Are we gonna fuck?"

"Wow, uh," he chuckled deeply. "Are we not going to?"

Laughing was good, especially at such a bold question, and she couldn't help but laugh at her own lascivious attitude. What a hornball. "Well, I was just putting it out there."

"What exactly are you putting out?" Suddenly very full of himself, Deeks smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Ugh, I'm just. Saying things. Whatever." Kensi nudged his knee with her own. "You don't seem like you're in the mood to spill your guts right now, am I right?" He nodded yes. "So if we're not gonna talk, and we're not gonna bone-"

"Classy," Deeks interrupted.

"Then," Kensi continued as if she didn't hear him. "I vote we tear this tiny town up and get shitfaced drunk. What say ye?"

A slow smile crept over his face. "Lady Blye, the Shitfaced? Cool."

* * *

If beer was liquid courage, then tequila was liquid dynamite. The only two people in Solvang that were big enough assholes to walk into the mellow jazz club Root 246 and immediately order tequila shots (while clearly the drink of choice this establishment was either wine or cognac) were Lord Marty Deeks and Lady Kensi Blye. After the back to back shots of tequila at their final watering hole of the evening, the two fell in a fit of laughter on a couch close to a vacant piano. Soon they would forget why they were laughing at all (Deeks had commented to the manager that an organ would fill the hole on the stage nicely and Kensi almost lost her ability to breathe).

"Tell me, good sir," Kensi slurred happily as she draped a leg over his. "Do you tickle the ivories as well?"

"I feel like you're like, unconsciously, no no, wait. Subconsciously trying to get me to tickle you tonight with all of this tickle talk."

"You started it."

"That's entirely possible. Or plausible. And I do have a strong urge to tickle you right now."

Kensi attempted to glare at him, looking more like a cartoon villainess than an intimidating federal agent. "I'll kick your ass right here, right now if you do it."

"Yeah, no you won't."

He was right. The previous attacks from her, most of them innocent and one of them not, had damaged her reflexes with him and no amount of alcohol could repair it. _Damn him_. "But. Just. Don't, k?"

If only the smile he gave her right then was as innocent as before, before the tequila and before he slowly started slipping her flip flops off with a single finger until they landed with a loud plop on the stone floor. Somehow nothing about the deliberate way he licked his lips and fixated on her like a jungle cat about to eat his prey was remotely innocent. A wave of something kin to a mixture of panic and lust coursed through her body, from the tips of her toes to her now very warm ears. That damn finger trailed a soft line of fire from her foot to the muscular curves of her calves and thighs until it settled just below the hem of shorts. Little Lady Blye of the South was almost painfully aware of his fingers and their proximity to her.

Talking, he'd said earlier. Talking, talking, talking. This wasn't fucking talking. If anybody was talking, it was Jose Cuervo. Words didn't need to be spoken from Deeks for Kensi to know what was on his mind, despite his earlier hesitation. The only word she could slur out as she stared at her lap was a half-assed "Um?"

In a brief moment of clarity, he snatched his hand away as if her skin might burn him. "We should probably go," Deeks said very slowly, pushing her leg off of his lap so he could attempt to stand. It was a difficult process, but he managed to lift his body upright and pull Kensi to her feet as well so they could begin the wobbly trek back to their room. The room that happened to house the beds of awkwardness.

It was a sight to behold, two beautiful snockered idiots carefully stumbling down the street while trying to avoid any and all contact with each other. They were almost successful in their attempt, but Kensi's flip flop just happened to catch on the step up to the walkway for their room. She wasn't quite sure how the next course of events happened; one second she was about to fall on her face and the next her mouth was colliding with her partner's as he pressed her against the door to their room.

The weathered wood of the old door scratched her bare shoulders as Deeks lifted her up and back again, threading his lean body through her legs while she wrapped them around his waist. Her mind was swirling, full of liquor and lust and just a little bit of self-awareness of the situation. This delicious man was covering her mouth and face and neck with scruffy, sloppy kisses and she was relishing in every second of the feeling she had been craving for weeks. Her fingers twisted in his hair and her legs tightened, holding him so close that she could literally feel how much he wanted her as well. Lady Blye of the North was slurring a cease and desist order while the South currently had far more control over her body. A civil war was being waged, and her poor heart was caught in the middle.

Deeks pressed her even harder against the door and Kensi let out a small muffled cry of pain. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he backed away from the door but still held her in place while he fished through his pockets with his free hand. Amazingly he found the room key quickly and they were through the door in a flash, falling in a pile of twisted limbs on the closest bed. That little voice in her head was getting louder and clearer with each roaming movement of his hand and mouth along her body, but damn if it didn't feel so good and just so right.

"Deeks," she breathed heavily, arching her back as his hand snuck its way up her shirt. "Talking?"

"Fuck talking," he spoke softly as he trailed rough kisses along her chest. "Talking sucks. We should never talk again, just do this. All the time."

The little voice wasn't so little anymore, more like a warning shout for her to not fuck this up again. The first and last time they gave in to each other, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. It took months for them to even get back to this point again. Was it worth it to repeat their mistakes, for one drunken night of inevitably awesome sex? Probably not. She still had no idea what he wanted to talk about anyway, but apparently it was so important that he felt it could potentially change everything between them.

If Kensi let him get into her shorts, there would be no turning back. She knew what she had to do and was about to hate herself for the rest of the night and possibly her life, but did it anyway. Grasping Deeks' hair roughly, she pulled his mouth and his damn tongue off of her body. "We have to stop."

His eyes were cloudy and confused. "What?"

"Right now. It would probably be a mistake." She swallowed deeply and tried to catch her breath and slow her heart and make everything stop throbbing.

Deeks nodded as the realization set in despite his impaired state. Blinking sleepily, he rolled off of her but kept an arm draped over her waist. Even in the dark room, Kensi could see the sadness in his face. Somehow, she thought it was about more than just their failed attempt at coitus. He closed his eyes and pulled her close. "I know. You're right. Always so smart," he whispered as he passed out.

Kensi grunted but willingly let him be the big spoon even though his remnants of their aggressive make-out session were a constant, poking reminder of her sexual frustration. "Yeah," she grumbled. "I am just so fucking brilliant."


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow, thanks to all of you for the reviews, follows, and faves. You guys are awesome.**

* * *

Kensi was basking by the pool on a glorious sunny day. It was funny because she didn't even remember there being a pool at their little inn, much less an extravagant pool that just seemed to keep getting bigger and bigger with each passing second. _Where did that waterfall come from?_ She couldn't seem to keep herself away from the water, like it had an uncontrollable pull over her. It was so pretty, and she was so hot. Maybe she should just put a toe in to test the temperature...

Awaking with a start, Kensi squeezed her knees together tightly to keep from pissing all over herself. Holy shit, she'd never had to pee so bad in her life. She really hoped Deeks was still asleep because she grabbed her crotch and jumped out of bed, running to the bathroom without even bothering to close the door.

"Ohhhhh," she moaned in relief. Classy, Deeks would say. To be honest, she didn't really give a damn at the moment. Her head was pounding, she had cottonmouth, and she looked like complete and utter shit. You know you'd gotten smashed the night before when you fell asleep in the same clothes you'd been wearing all day, bra included. The underwire had left a painful mark on her ribs, so she reached around and unclasped the bra, throwing it onto the bathroom counter with a sigh.

Peaking her head out, Kensi looked out to see if she had woken Deeks up. She did not want him to see her like this. Surprisingly, he was nowhere to be found. "Huh," she muttered. At least she wouldn't have to fight him for the shower. Hopefully he hadn't completely ditched her. Not that she thought that he would actually do that, but she never knew what was possible when it came to men. After their drunken debauchery and near-sex fiasco, she had no idea what to expect from the day to come.

After letting the water pelt her face for a good five minutes, she hurriedly washed her body. The scratches on her shoulders surprised her until she remembered that they were drunk idiots dry humping each other against a door during the night before. She reeked of alcohol and shame, and probably needed to shower for at least an hour. Of course, now she was regretting that she didn't unpack her bag because she was without her razor, shampoo, and body wash. The generic goodies provided by the room would have to be good enough. She was met with another moment of deja vu when she walked out of the bathroom in just a towel and nearly ran into Deeks.

"Oh." Kensi looked him up and down. Unbeknownst to her, he had apparently already gotten up, dressed, (in khaki shorts and a blue crewneck that beautifully brought out his eyes even though they were bloodshot) and returned with what looked like breakfast. _Excellent_. "Hi. Good morning."

"Morning," he echoed, setting a small bag and a big cup of coffee on the nightstand. "Breakfast. And Tylenol." He took a sip of coffee and pointed to her lack of clothing. "Towel. I would say something pervy or whatever, but my head is still killing me. Plus, no matter how impressive, it's not anything I haven't seen before. No offense."

"I might take offense." Kensi smiled to show she was kidding and pulled her towel tighter while she rummaged through her bag.

"I'm sorry..."

"Nope."

"...about last night."

Kensi stood upright with her clean, albeit slightly wrinkled clothes. "Again, nope. It takes two to tango, or in our case, it takes two to dry hump against a door."

Deeks' face flushed. He plopped on the unused bed and pulled out a breakfast burrito while Kensi slipped back into the bathroom. "No tequila, or any shots of any kind today, okay?"

"Agreed," she yelled from the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and pulled her hair up. Not really dressed to impress in black shorts and a yellow tee shirt with light blue camisole, Kensi still looked damn good. "What's for breakfast?"

Deeks smiled at her when she joined him again. "Wow, that was fast. I got you a danish."

"That's it?"

"And a burrito. But that's not as much fun as the danish." Kensi stared at him blankly. "Danish. We're in a little Danish town...nevermind, drink your coffee."

"Thank you." She smiled and sipped her coffee, pausing to take a big bite of the most delicious cheese danish she'd ever had in her life. It was adorable when he stammered. "Do you have any plans for today?"

"Oh I have plans." Deeks shoved the last bite of his burrito in his mouth and took a long draw of coffee. "Lots of plans."

* * *

Kensi stood outside the small building and tilted her head at Deeks curiously. "A toy store?"

"This isn't just any toy store, it's Nathalie's Doll House-"

"I can read the sign," she interrupted.

He stuck his tongue out at her. "Anyway. They have a lot of original stuff that they make here in the store. And don't act like you don't have dolls and shit. I've seen them. You even have toys on your desk." She crossed her arms silently, so he continued. "Exactly. And until we get fully hydrated again, I thought this might be, I don't know. Fun?"

Looping her arm in his, Kensi led him towards the entrance. "Okay. Maybe they'll even have some trains."

His eyes lit up and he grinned like a little kid on Christmas morning.

* * *

"Oh my God, I want to eat all of them. Right now." Kensi was almost drooling over the collection of raspberries, boysenberries, and blackberries in her basket.

"I can hear your stomach growling from down here," Deeks said from the ground as he plucked his own berries. "We'll eat after this, I promise."

"No, this is fun," she replied cheerily. The headaches from that morning were gone. Toys aplenty were played with and a few purchased. Now they were at a local farm, picking berries to take home. These were very non-Kensi and Deeks activities so far, and it was absolutely amazing. "How do you know about these little places here? Long-term undercover as Sven, the Danish shopkeeper?"

"Ha!" Deeks laughed out loud, pushing himself off the ground. She had no idea that he did actually have an undercover identity known as Sven, but he would save that tidbit for another time. "No, never been here for work. My mom used to bring me up here for a day trip every once in a while when I was little. Don't worry, this is the last child-like activity I have planned."

Kensi studied his expression. It seemed like he was telling the truth. Many times in the past, Deeks had mentioned his family but none of the stories were very consistent. She thought it was a safe assumption that most of them were exaggerated, as if he had always told tall tales about his family because nobody cared to pay attention. But she paid attention, and Sam and Callen and Nell and Eric, they all paid attention. "So this is real then? You actually came here with your mom?"

"Yup," he answered with a small smile. "Good memories."

"Making even more today." She tried to inconspicuously pop a raspberry in her mouth but he still noticed and shot her a mildly disgusted look. "One of these days I'll take you to the San Diego Zoo. I used to love that when I was young, going with my family. That, and camping and shooting, but I think you'd have more fun at the zoo."

"Cool," Deeks nodded appreciatively. "I'd like that."

* * *

"Really?" Deeks pushed harder and faster to try to keep up with Kensi. A drop of sweat fell in one eye and he wiped the nuisance away with his arm. "It's not a race."

"Life is a competition, Deeks," she responded, only slightly out of breath. Still, she slowed down just a little bit. "And I always have to win."

Waiting until she had fallen back to his pace and let her guard down, Deeks lowered his head and began to peddle his rented Novara Ponderosa quickly through the beautiful terrain of the Santa Ynez Valley. An evil laugh escaped his mouth as Kensi literally ate his dust.

"Oh hell no," she growled. It didn't take her long legs any time to catch up to him again. She greeted him with a middle finger salute, he laughed, and they rode side by side through the Ballard Canyon trail. Neither spoke for awhile, just using the time to enjoy the views along the 12 mile path. After a heavy breakfast and lunch, plus the excessive drinking the day before, both were anxious for some physical activity. Physical activity of the athletic sort, since they weren't really discussing the other kind of physical activity they could be doing.

Kensi noticed Deeks began slowing down again and was about to ask if he was getting tired already. That was before she figured out why he was stopping. Less than half a mile down the trail was a hill that sloped downward onto what looked like a private property. Right in the middle of about 5 acres of flatland was a lake. She stopped in her tracks and turned her bike to face him. "I don't even want to know what you're thinking, but the answer is no."

If eyes could roll out of one's head, his would have at that very moment. Deeks skidded the bike to a halt and placed his hands on his hips. "Come on, it's not like anybody is living there."

"You don't know that."

"There's not even a house!" He pointed excitedly.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "It's still trespassing."

Deeks pouted his lips. "We practically trespass for a living. We could say we're investigating something. Lost weapon, I dunno." Kensi still wasn't convinced. "Come on, Kens. Have some fun."

That hurt a little. Yes, Kensi was a staunch rule follower unless led astray by someone. Maybe she was a little uptight. Okay, she was usually wound up tighter than a Baptist minister's wife's girdle at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast. But that didn't mean she couldn't have fun. Truthfully, the thing she was worried most about was that she didn't have a bathing suit and would have to ride back on her bike with wet clothes. That would be uncomfortable, but she would do it. She could have fun.

"Fine," she huffed. "I'll go along. It sounds...awesome."

"Wow, you're a horrible liar," Deeks said, laughing.

Kensi set her bicycle down gently on the ground. "Just to you."

He seemed to want to respond, but didn't, simply dropping his bicycle instead. In one swift motion he removed his shirt and shoes, then his shorts.

"Whoa," Kensi said, pointing to his boxers without making it totally obvious that she was staring at his near naked form. At least she kept the drool in her mouth. "I would keep those on. You don't know what kind of creatures are swimming in this water."

"You're killing the fun, fun-killer." Deeks looped his thumbs in his drawers and laughed when Kensi's eyes bulged. "Just kidding, obviously. Gotta protect my gun, ya know."

She narrowed her eyes. "You're carrying a weapon?"

"Nope."

_What caliber? Was it locked and loaded? Would you like to holster it in_...Kensi's mind was full of very inappropriate comments that he probably would have loved, but she was trying to be on good behavior. "Nice."

He sort of winked and sprinted towards the water. Hopefully she wouldn't regret it later, but she took her outer shirt, bra, and shorts off and followed him to the lake. Most agents and detectives didn't look for fake missing weapons in their skivvies, but whatever. She wasn't going to focus on that. Or it. Or him. _Yeah right_.

A small dock on the lake was practically begging to be jumped off of, and Deeks did exactly that. A loud whoohoo followed by a splash echoed through the air as he disappeared under the water. Kensi wanted to judge the depth first before jumping in. She sat on the edge of the dock and looked into the murky water. It must have been relatively deep if Deeks was having to tread water...and then she noticed he was staring at her with a mischievous glint in his eyes. A glint that gave away the fact that he was about to grab and throw her into the cool water.

"Motherf-" Kensi had a mouthful of nasty lake water before she could even attempt to threaten him. It wasn't that she was underwater that long, but she didn't appreciate surprises. She came up and took in a deep breath. "It's on, bitch," she coughed out before dipping under the water again. Camping, fishing, and hot-wiring weren't the only things her father taught her. The marine also showed her all the pressure points on the body and how to bring a man to his knees. Once she found his foot and twisted his big toe, she knew this battle was won.

"Fuck!" Deeks cried out, throwing his hands up in surrender.

Her head popped back above the water. "Truce?"

"Truce, let go of my toe. What the hell?"

Kensi grinned and released her grip. "It's a secret."

"You and your secret voodoo shit." Relaxing his body, Deeks let his feet rise to the surface. He floated quietly, soaking up the sunshine and fresh air while Kensi swam circles around the small lake. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"This is so peaceful," she remarked as she flipped on her back beside him. "Just you, me, sunshine, and some other person's lake."

"Yup," he sighed. "And this lake's not even frozen." There was a hint of bitter emphasis placed on the word frozen that made a shiver go down her spine.

That day wasn't a shining moment for her, for multiple reasons. It was true that she viewed Deeks as the thing she wanted the most in the world, and that terrified her. They didn't talk everything through before or after jumping right in, and it cost them. The thought of an actual relationship still scared her, but in an exciting kind of way now. Being in the desert, seeing her past life with Jack, having to be separated from Deeks and the life she'd been accustomed to...it changed the way she viewed everything. "So. How would you cross a frozen lake?"

He closed his eyes and lifted his chin to the sun. "You're supposed to walk slowly. Be patient."

"Impressive." She started sinking and tucked her legs so she could swim upright again. "Or you could wait for it to melt and dive right in because there's nothing to be scared of anymore. Maybe when it was frozen, it...wasn't the right time to try to cross it."

"So, then," Deeks said, twisting until he was floating on his belly. "What is our status? Frozen? Thawing? A cool 70 degrees?"

Kensi splashed water in his face. "You tell me."

Blinking, he wiped an eye with his thumb. "Honestly, I think it's too complicated to describe with a metaphor or rationalize it with a proverb."

"Oh." The statement stung a little bit, but he was right. There was nothing simple about it, and treating the dynamic between two individuals like themselves as simple...that was just unrealistic. If they didn't talk about it, they would do nothing but tread water for the rest of their lives. It wouldn't be pretty, but it was just something that had to be done. The current state of their relationship couldn't continue on without damaging both their personal and professional lives. "So, in basic terms. We had a thing. And now we don't."

"There's always been a 'thing', Kens."

"Maybe," she replied. Kicking only her feet under her to stay above the surface, she focused intently on nothing but his face. A face that, to her, had changed so much in the last year. If she had to, she couldn't explain what was different. It was just something that probably only she saw. "Deeks. You said we needed to talk. There's nobody here but us. No excuses anymore."

There was no verbal response from him. He knew what was coming but was going to make her ask the question anyway. Before she could even open her mouth again he diverted his gaze towards the trees instead of her eyes.

"I had my time to think this over and process all of this. But when I was ready, suddenly you weren't anymore. So something happened, right? What was it?"

Deeks closed his eyes and sunk until the water rested right at his chin, like a child huddling under his blanket for safety. "I lost control of myself. It was like I was there but only in spirit and I did things, unthinkable things, that I can never get rid of now. And what's to say that it won't happen again, that the next time I lose my mind it won't be worse? I was willing to compromise myself and everything that I feel and believe to be true...for you. It could have all been avoided if I'd just let myself be led by my head instead of my heart, but now I don't trust myself to do that when you're involved."

"But-" The right words needed to be said, and Kensi had to be careful about it. "Um. We still work together, though. We're involved with each other everyday. And trust me, whatever state of togetherness we are in, I would do anything for you. You probably don't believe that, but it's true."

"I believe it. You're not always the best at showing it," he said with a small smile as he opened his eyes. "But I still believe it."

"Can this be me showing it? By listening without judgment. We're partners. I trust you with everything. Trust me, too." Her eyes were wide with worry because it took a lot for Deeks to open up about the truth sometimes, and he still hadn't told her what actually happened. He'd been putting this off for a while obviously, but she just wanted him to get it out. "Just tell me."

He drew in a deep breath and held it in his mouth for a few seconds before blowing it out in the form of bubbles in the water. "We went to Afghanistan to find you. Sam, Callen, and Granger left on foot to track you down but made me stay behind to question a man, the father of one of the men suspected to be a higher up in the group that they believed were responsible for your capture. We exchanged his life for yours in the end, essentially. And you probably know all of this, right? Because you've read the report."

"I have read it, yes. But I also know that with international incidents, some information gets...forgotten?" It was more of a question than a statement even though she knew it to be true.

"If only it were that easy," he said with a jaw clench. "Callen and his group found the location where you'd been kept, or so they thought. Maybe it was, we don't know. I wasn't there for all of this. But they found a picture, or pictures, of you and Jack with your throats cut. And they sent them to Ops, obviously. Hetty didn't believe they were real, but...she called me to give an update on the situation and told me about it."

The pictures. Of course Kensi remembered that. She was bloodied and beaten but aware of what was happening before she and Jack were moved to another location. The men holding them were paranoid that they were being followed but wanted to keep their American assets as long as possible. It was mostly a blur of tears and blood to her now, and at the time she assumed the picture staging was for an eventual negotiation tactic. Remembering back, that was the moment she knew she was as good as dead. She'd never see her friends or her home again. She would never see Deeks again. Her eyes began to water as the memories flooded her mind after being suppressed for months. "You didn't see them did you? She wouldn't have sent them, there's no way."

"I told her to do it. I made her," he answered numbly. "I guess I thought I would be able to tell, like I would know for sure if I saw it with my own eyes. What had been keeping me together was this little flicker of hope that we would find you alive. But seeing you like that...it didn't matter if it was real or fake. Hope was snuffed out, and I had nothing left."

They both bobbed up and down in the water without a sound; Deeks needed to find the courage to continue, Kensi respected that he didn't want to be pushed. Different scenarios played out in her head about how her team reacted to thinking she was dead. Callen would have been firm but in denial, Granger probably brutally honest, and Sam the strong but silent realist. Thinking of their reactions was hard enough. How Deeks would have reacted was a mystery, just like the man himself.

"I tortured him," Deeks said at last. His own expression looked surprised.

_Wow_. That wasn't what she was expecting him to say, not at all. "You...what?"

A nervous laugh came out of his mouth. Obviously he didn't find the admission funny. Maybe he was just more relieved than anything else after finally being able to speak the words aloud. "It's weird to actually...say it. I mean, who does that? Monsters do that. Sidorov and Janvier, sick fucks like them do that. I, of all people, shouldn't be capable. But...I don't know, I don't even know how it happened or why I thought I could do it, if I thought it would even help the situation. Or if I was so broken that I thought the only way to fix myself was to break someone else. I just don't know."

She wanted to hold him. God, she wanted to just wrap him up and not let go until every bit of anguish disappeared from his mind. But how would he react now, after admitting something like that? Truly, there was only one way to find out. Testing the water, almost literally, Kensi swam a little closer to the lost man that had a stranglehold on her heart. When he didn't recoil, she inched further until they were close enough that she could touch him. "You're not a monster," she whispered.

"Right," Deeks said. His eyes were everywhere but where they needed to be: looking at her. Kensi cupped his face in her hands to make him focus. "You weren't there, Kens. You don't know."

"I know you," she replied, stroking the scruff on his jaw with her thumbs. "I know that you're not like them. You did a horrible thing, I'm not going to sugar coat it. I wasn't there so I don't know what happened, but whatever you did was wrong. But the difference between you and the sick bastards that enjoy hurting people is remorse. A conscience. Did you enjoy it?"

A drop of water, or maybe a single tear, rolled down his cheek and into her hand as he shook his head. "God no. I stopped, and I held him on the floor. And I cried, I fucking cried on the floor with him, and I kept telling him and myself over and over again that it was okay. All of the shit I've dealt with in my life, and I think that was the single worst moment of it all."

"So why do you think you would let it happen again?" Kensi prodded.

"Because I-" He looked confused. "I hadn't really thought of it that way. You say you know me, but I'm not sure. There's a darkness inside that I'm not sure I have complete control over."

"We all have things about ourselves that we're not proud of, or that even scare us." Swallowing hard, she continued. "Not just anybody can do what we do, can see what we see and still be okay. And we don't talk about it a lot, but that's okay too. We just understand each other."

Deeks nodded. "I know."

Kensi lowered her eyes to the water. "I've done horrible things, stupid things. Awful things to you, even, that I can't take back. We can't take anything back, but we can go forward. Together."

"Learn from our mistakes..."

"And know not to make them again," Kensi finished his sentence with a smile.

His eyes were heavy but he returned her smile. "If we learn from our mistakes, we should be like, hella smart now, right? I mean, I was already smart but now-" With a playful scrunch of her nose and a mean glare, Kensi pinched his cheeks. "Ow. Okay fine, you're smart too. Sometimes."

"Uh huh." A light breeze passed between them and Kensi shivered.

"Are you cold?" Deeks pulled his hands out of the water to rub her arms that were now covered in goosebumps.

She shook her head. "No."

His hands slid up her arms to her shoulders then over her back, and before Kensi could even move her arms she was being squeezed so tightly that it took her breath away. Or maybe _he_ just took her breath away. She wiggled her arms down his wet chest and wrapped them around his waist as they started sinking in the water. Both sets of feet started kicking in unison to bring them back up together. She rested her cheek on his shoulder as he nestled his face on her neck. "You know you're the most important thing in the world to me, right? You're my light in all of this," Deeks murmured into her ear and she couldn't help but shiver again.

Warm fuzzies and happy tinglies and all sorts of feelings spread through her body as she squeezed him even tighter. The butterflies that haunted and thrilled her a few weeks prior had returned with a vengeance. Words couldn't begin to describe how she felt in that moment. "I know."

"You think we're getting closer?" He asked.

Kensi breathed in the smell of his skin against her face, a combination of dirt and heaven. "Closer?"

"To figuring this out?" His nose nudged her and she thought maybe he was remembering the way she smelled, too. Not like alcohol and shame anymore, no, it was more like peace and tranquility for the first time in a long while.

"Yeah." She smiled and closed her eyes. "I think we're almost there."

* * *

"Kens?"

Having barely moved since she and Deeks maneuvered to a more shallow area of the lake, Kensi still had her arms wrapped around his waist like her life depended on it. If there was a Guinness World Records category for longest hug, she'd like to submit this one as a possibility. "Yeah?" Her teeth chattered. That was a dead giveaway that she was freezing cold, but didn't really care because she was clinging on to him like Jack on Rose's board after the Titanic sank.

"I think I need to tell you something, but it's a little awkward."

_Oh no_. Awkward, no, not awkward. "Okay. Shoot."

"Um. Your nipples are seriously stabbing me right now. And I'm having trouble concentrating on anything else at the moment. Well that, and the fact that the Captain and his two Lieutenants are undercover. A deep, deep cover. There's quite a conflict going on."

Kensi snorted. "Alright, I get it. It's cold in here, and we need to return the bikes. Thanks for the visual, by the way." She said it sarcastically, but it wasn't like she didn't run the memorized image of his naked body through her head on a regular basis. It really was a thing of beauty, although maybe not as much in his current state of shrinkage. But after their very intense conversation in the water, sex wasn't the only thing on her mind. His confession and her support had left her feeling connected to him in a completely different way than before, as if she really needed to add another layer of feelings for this man. She didn't.

"One more thing," Deeks said, jutting his jaw out proudly. "Have dinner with me tonight."

"Uh, I don't know who else I would-" Kensi paused when he began to glare at her. "Oh. Oh! Yes. Of course." She sounded like an idiot, but it didn't matter. It was the gesture of Deeks asking her out on a date, without any false pretenses, that was important. It was real, and she started to feel a little panicky. There had been almost too much anticipation about this moment on her part, too much build-up to the actual act of 'dating' and all of the wonderful bonuses that came with it. _Yikes_.

"I lied, one more thing again." He pulled her tighter against him and suddenly she didn't feel nearly as cold as before. Almost in slow motion, Deeks brought his lips to hers in the most tender kiss she'd ever had in her life. And just like that, she was on her bike at the hilltop again being flooded with the overwhelming emotions that only he could give her. For a moment it was as if all the trials and difficulties of the past year never happened. She ran the first time he kissed her. This time she had no where else she'd rather be.

"Thank you," he said softly, pulling away and releasing his grip on her. Deeks dragged himself out of the water and onto the warm dock, then extended a hand to help Kensi out. "Alright, Nip, let's head back."

"Ready when you are, Turtle," she responded with a flushed grin.

"Oh, touché."


	4. Chapter 4

**Again, thanks for all of the comments and reviews! And thanks again to aprylynn for the beta, especially for this very long and very M chapter. If the M rated stuff is not up your alley, then I think it is pretty obvious where you should stop reading. :) **

* * *

"What do you want to try now?" He had asked that same question 5 times already at the vineyard tasting room they decided to pop into before dinner. Every time Kensi answered with a type of wine, his face fell just a little bit. It was weird, even for Deeks, but she wasn't paying much attention to his weirdness anyway. She was too busy ogling over how breathtakingly fuckable he looked in his black polo shirt and fitted gray slacks. _Good God_. It didn't take long after their intimate conversation for Kensi's mind to sink back into the gutter. She had needs, dammit, and she needed Deeks like air, or water, or doughnuts.

Knowing him and his penchant for all-natural food, she was pretty sure he was likening her to an organic, grass-fed Wagyu filet mignon based on the eyes he kept making at her. Kensi looked pretty fuckable herself, and she knew it. Second showers were much needed after their afternoon bike-riding and swimming in a dirty lake, which provided her with an excellent opportunity to shave and make herself look and smell beautiful. Luckily she'd planned ahead and brought at least one nice outfit, a loose yet extremely short white dress that showed of her amazing legs and just enough cleavage to look sexy without screaming "do me do me now." Nude sandals, gold hoop earrings, a touch of makeup, and her naturally wavy hair finished off her sun-kissed look. The pink lace undergarments weren't visible but she sure as hell hoped that someone other than herself would get the chance to appreciate them. Deeks hadn't been able to take his eyes off of her since she presented herself to him in their shared room with crossed eyes and her tongue sticking out. Her attempt to alleviate some of the growing sexual tension between them didn't work, and their constant staring back and forth over the table now was not helping at all. They might need to remove the batteries from the smoke alarms in their room before touching each other.

"Earth to Kensi."

"What?" She blinked and tried to focus on the present instead of the possible future. "What'd you say?"

"Wine."

"Oh, yeah. We could try that '87 Merlot Don recommended."

Deeks slammed a fist down on their small table, startling Kensi and their server that was standing behind him. "I'm not drinking any fucking Merlot!"

Kensi rolled her eyes and their server approached the table with a forced smile. "How original, sir. Nobody's ever quoted that movie here before," he said sarcastically.

Still pleased with himself, he looked at Kensi with a stupid grin across his face. She just shook her head and tried to cover up a smile. "Get it? Cause _Sideways_ filmed here? Right, Don?"

"Dante. It's Dante," the server responded. "So, no on the Merlot?"

"We'll try the '94 Cabernet, thanks," Kensi answered, kicking Deeks under the table as Dante walked away. "You've been dying to say that this whole time, haven't you?"

"Busting at the seams." God, he needed to stop staring at her like he wanted to devour her. She'd never be able to concentrate on anything other than his biceps and fluffy hair and goofy smile if he didn't. That goofy smile had been on his face pretty much the entire time since their return from the lake. It was as if a weight had been lifted off of his chest and he actually looked...happy, truly happy, for the first time in a while.

"That movie sucked."

"You suck," he scoffed.

_Damn straight_. Kensi cleared her throat. "You know who the main character in that movie looked like? Like a shorter, equally asshole-ish version of Officer Snyder."

Deeks pondered her comparison. "Yeah, you're kinda right." Nodding a thanks to Dante as he returned with their wine, he tilted his head to the side and chuckled. "Sunshine and gunpowder."

She narrowed her eyes. "You're being weird again. Can you not tolerate the wine? Tannins, is it the tannins?"

"I ain't scared of no tannins," he responded. "That day, when Snyder died. You made me promise not to get myself killed, and you're welcome by the way, I've tried awfully hard not to break that promise. Anyway, you had that stupid couples survey, remember?"

"Yes, yes I do. It was just for fun, ya know, it didn't mean anything." Lies. So many lies. Kensi sniffed her wine, because neither one of them were proficient in the ways of wine sampling. It would have been a good idea to have had Sam the sommelier give a lesson or two before this trip.

He gave her a skeptical glance and toyed with his glass. "That ridiculous question about how you smelled. I don't think you heard me, but I said you smelled like sunshine."

"I heard you yell that, and I rolled my eyes at you," she teased. "You were just trying to make up for wanting to live in a frozen state for eternity in my bedroom."

"That offer still stands." He smiled. "But I wasn't done. I actually said you smelled like sunshine and gunpowder. Two of my favorite things."

"Oh?" Kensi asked.

"And that's when I knew."

"Knew what?" Somehow Deeks had a way of turning conversations on their ass in an instant. One second he would be making jokes, the next he'd be deadly serious and gazing at her in a way that made every part of her body tingle. Exactly the way he was looking at her in that moment.

He puckered his lips thoughtfully and swirled his wine before taking a sip. "Hmm. Not too bad."

"Deeks."

"I knew how important you'd become to me, much more than a partner or a friend. I had been falling for you hard and I hit the ground right then. Because I didn't think you would ever feel the same way, because I was undercover with Monica-" Kensi's gagging noises interrupted him briefly but he continued. "And you didn't know about it and I honestly hoped you never would. But you found out, and then you started pushing me to tell you how I felt and I was scared and I'm pretty sure you were, too. And we all know what happened after that."

Yeah, a kiss that sparked a dream and a drill that killed it. A mission that was more important than the people willing to risk their lives to see it to fruition. A job that at the end of the day was the top priority in their lives. What happened after the spontaneous kiss on the hilltop was just...well, a load of shit. If she could erase everything that had happened between then and now, she probably would. Maybe not their one night together, because even though in retrospect it was a mistake, it was one of the most beautiful mistakes she'd ever made. "Yeah, a bunch of bullshit happened. But unfortunately that's just part of our jobs. I don't know what else to say about it."

"Our jobs. Right." Deeks sipped at his wine again. "The only thing left to talk about."

A groan echoed in the wine glass as Kensi sipped her Cabernet. "We've literally talked more today that probably in the entire time we've known each other. All of this honesty between us is really starting to freak me out."

"We have to do it. Tonight." Their server happened to walk by right as Deeks spoke the words that could easily be misconstrued. Deeks ignored him but Kensi noticed Dante's eyebrows arch on his way by their table.

"Tonight." Kensi licked her lips. "We have to do it tonight."

The quick movement of her tongue was not lost on him. He was suddenly fascinated with her mouth and couldn't stop from staring at it. "Admittedly, we suck at this. But we're doing really damn good right now, and I don't want to stop. I don't want any of this to stop." His fingers walked over the table to trace the lines on her knuckles. "There are a lot of things I want to do tonight, but not until I know that we're on the same page, that we won't fuck this up like before."

Just the slight touch of his hand on hers was making her wet. She was so screwed if they weren't on the same page. Bringing his hand up to her mouth, she swept her lips softly across his fingers. Seeing him close his eyes and part his lips gave her a deep sense of satisfaction. "Alright. Let's talk. But first I want you to tell me some of these...things you want to do tonight."

"God," he moaned, forcing his eyes open again. "All I can think about is how you taste, how you smell. How unbelievable it felt to be inside of you. I just want to take you and fuck you on this table right now."

Heart-pounding fear and excitement coursed through her veins. She almost climbed up on the tiny table just to see if he would do it. Fuck public indecency, this was worth getting arrested over.

"Ahem." Apparently they had an audience. Dante was now standing by their table with a disgusted look on his face. "I'm just going to...why don't you just find me if you need something."

"I think we're good, thanks," Kensi said apologetically. Dante rolled his eyes and turned his back to the pair. She could have sworn she heard him mutter "get a room you horny little fuckers" as he walked away.

"Okay, _that_ just happened. Where were we?" Deeks asked.

"Supposed to be talking about work but instead talking about defiling this table," Kensi half-heartedly joked before turning more serious. He was killing her more with every passing second, but the thought that they could maybe figure out their...thing, was driving her forward. "Why don't we both just tell each other what we want and we'll go from there?"

"Okay, but I must warn you," he said, raising an eyebrow dramatically. "That makes way too much sense."

Sighing, she dropped their hands to the table. "Shut up. I'm trying here."

"I'm trying, too! This isn't easy, nothing about this is. What I want is a perfect world where I know you're safe, you know I'm good, and we can figure out some way to just be happy. But this isn't a perfect world. We have no guarantees. There's only one thing that I really, absolutely need from you."

Kensi swallowed hard. "Anything." Despite trying her hardest to be cool and collected, Kensi couldn't help but panic just a bit. Focusing just on the physical aspect of a relationship was easy. The thought of commitment to another living being was terrifying. They always managed to leave or die, and that piece of herself she had given to them died each time as well. She had to protect what little she had left at all costs, but it was too late to protect herself from Deeks. Without even knowing it, she had already given all of herself to him; her heart, her body, and her soul were already practically his for the taking. It seemed like it had taken just an instant and forever at the same time.

His smile made her feel like she was melting into a puddle of Deeks, a combination of sad and happy that only he could manage to put together. "I uh, I've never been the best at anything in my life, really. Always good, but never reaching the top. Ya know?" She nodded. "But I need to be on top-" Kensi snickered and Deeks laughed. "Wow, _really_?"

"Ugh." She covered her face with her hands for a second before scrunching up her nose. "Just keep talking."

"I don't think I can cause now I'm thinking what you were thinking..." Deeks bit his bottom lip. "But, right. Focus. I was saying that I can't be second place to the job for you anymore. It's important to both of us, because that's what consumes most of our lives. But if you're put in the position to choose, I need to know you'll choose me."

_Oh_. "Do you feel like you're not more important than the job to me now?"

"Without a doubt," he responded firmly. "And there will come a day when we're put in an awful position at work again. That's just a fact. I'm willing to put you before anything else. If it meant leaving my job just so I could be with you, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I've never felt like the opposite would be true."

As far as being partners, she'd always had his back. That wasn't always the case for their friendship or doomed relationship. His point was valid. "I won't promise that I won't make any mistakes, or act irrationally at times. But I can promise you that I'll try, and that you as a person are more important than anything else to me."

Deeks nodded, seemingly satisfied with her response. "Okay. Go ahead, let me have it."

"Alright," Kensi said, drawing the word out slowly. "I guess I need you to just be honest with me. You know I trust you with my life, but-"

"Not your heart?" It was as if he'd anticipated this comment from her for a long time. He only appeared a tad offended.

"Yes. You get too close to things, and that's why you're scary good at what you do. But you are also damn good at lying and keeping secrets. No more of that. Everything said between the two of us is the truth, even if the truth hurts or you know I'm not going to like it."

"I will...offer you the same promise. I will try."

Kensi exhaled loudly. "Okay."

"Okay," Deeks mimicked. "So are we doing this?"

"I want to do this if you want to do this." The nonchalant attitude she tried to portray was laughable, but totally appropriate for a serious conversation between the two of them.

"So we're doing this."

"We're doing this."

"And at work?" Deeks asked. "Do we tell them that we're doing this?"

"Well, um," she grimaced. "We probably should. But I don't want to. Not right away, anyway. As long as it doesn't affect our ability to do our jobs it should be a non-issue. Technically speaking, anyway."

"Glad your regulations are more lenient than mine," Deeks teased. "Must be nice to be a Fed."

"You could be a Fed," she shot back.

"And that's a topic of discussion for another day. So, do you want to go get dinner?"

_What the hell?_ Mouth agape, Kensi stared at him in stunned silence.

"What? Last time we skipped dinner. I need my strength," he said with a straight face.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously? Seriously." Standing up with a huff, she threw her purse over her shoulder. "Seriously?"

Grinning like a cheshire cat and loving every second of Kensi's outrage, Deeks stood up with her. He quickly eased her concerns by thumbing her cheek and whispering in her ear. "I was just kidding. Dinner can wait."

* * *

Now that it was real and actually about to happen, Kensi was beginning to doubt herself. Not her sexual prowess, but just the ramifications of actually having sex (making love?) with Deeks again. She wanted it to be perfect. She also needed him so badly that she worried she might climax the minute he touched her; or even worse, that she wouldn't be able to at all. They should have had a lot more wine.

But it was definitely too late for more wine. She was pinned underneath his firm body with his gloriously hard cock on the mattress of the bed next to the one they'd shared the night before. Still fully clothed, he was taking his sweet damn time with her, covering her mouth and ears and neck with kisses while his hand roamed across her thin dress. "You're killing me, Deeks," she moaned into his mouth before sucking his bottom lip between her teeth.

"Good," he whispered back, thrusting against her as he grabbed her ass.

"Good?" If he thought he was going to be in charge of this operation, he had another thing coming to him. As quick as a cat, Kensi pushed up on his arms and twisted, flipping him onto his back. A surprised smile crossed his face but he didn't fight her. In fact, he was quite enjoying the view as she swung a leg over his waist to straddle him. Immediately her fingers were all over him, untucking his shirt and unfastening his pants. "No, this is much better."

Yes, there was no doubt this time that this was exactly right and exactly what they wanted to do. Gone was the trepidation and second-guessing from their first time together, even for Kensi. This time they were just going to have a hell of a lot of fun.

"Hey." Deeks ran his hands up her thighs and under her dress, thumbing the edges of pink lace appreciatively. He traced the lines of lace along her inner thigh, just barely avoiding any instant orgasm areas. _Bastard_. "What's your rush?"

"There's no rush. No rush," she dismissed him. "I just...really want you. Is that so wrong?"

"No, that's probably the rightest thing I've ever heard in my life." He smiled at her until she distracted him with a slow grind of her hips. "So uh, we should discuss-"

With an irritated growl, Kensi fell flush against him and pressed a finger to his lips. "No more talking. There are much more fun things I want you to do with your mouth now."

"Yay. But um," he mumbled against her finger. "Protection."

Kensi smiled sheepishly, removing her finger and replacing it with her lips. She only meant to kiss him for a second, but how he tasted and the incredibly soft way his tongue danced with hers was almost addictive. Neither one seemed keen to stop at all, but his insistent tugging of her dress up to her chin forced them to separate. She snickered and unbuttoned the back so he could slip it over her head. The pink lace was a good choice, judging by the whimper and increased pressure against her thigh. "Right, okay," she licked her lips. _Wow, how could he possibly taste so good?_ "I uh, actually brought a whole box of condoms."

"Hey, me too," he said breathlessly. "So we're good for about 60 times then."

"Best vacation ever?"

"It already is."

There went Kensi's heart again, thump thumping and flutter fluttering out of her chest. Her resident butterfly had acquired a drum-set now and taken lessons from Tommy Lee. Enough with all the talking, she had to satisfy that thing before it killed her. She kissed him one more time and grinned devilishly before descending down his body, pushing his shirt up and pants down swiftly. He liked to tease? Well, payback was a bitch.

Suddenly very still, Deeks' eyes bore holes in the top of her head as she graced his abdomen and chest with feather-soft kisses until she reached his nipples. She playfully nibbled at one of them and by God, he giggled. "What the hell?" She licked the other, eliciting a similar reaction. "Are you ticklish?"

"Maybe." Her tongue licked again and he wiggled below her. "Okay yes, I'm ticklish. You weren't this...thorough last time."

"Hmm. My mistake." Sliding lower towards the edge of the bed, she tugged his pants off and tossed them on the floor. Kensi resisted the urge to rip his boxers off because even though she would never admit it, she'd never been more excited to see a dick before in her life. But she said there was no rush, and foreplay could be fun too. Lots of fun. She dragged her lips across the skin above his boxers. "Are you ticklish here, too?"

Deeks vigorously shook his head no. It was so hard for her to not snort or laugh at him. They were so comfortable with teasing each other on a daily basis, so why would this be any different? Still, she remained as serious as possible and enjoyed every second while she watched her partner turn to putty in her hands. "What about here?" She pulled his shorts lower and tried not to stare at his cock straining against the thin, wet material as she kissed the curve of his hipbone and 'accidentally' grazed him with her breasts.

"Okay, Kens, now you're killing me," he said, grasping at her hands.

Satisfied with her payback, she eased his shorts down and to the floor. And there he was, like a beacon in the night ready to lead her home. Finally, after months of separation and horrible communication, they were going to be together again. For the first time it was truly something real and she was just so, so happy about it.

She realized then how odd she probably looked, staring in a daze at his almost naked body while he looked on in anticipation of her next move. Since she had his undivided attention, she held his gaze and wrapped her fingers around him. Her tongue flicked across her lips before she slowly licked him from base to tip. A wonderful noise escaped his mouth and his eyes widened before he squeezed them shut. Kensi remembered then that he did have a 'Happy Deeks' sound. It was something she wanted to hear again, and again, and again. She retraced her steps up his length and she took him in her mouth, just barely enough for her tongue to sweep across his tip. He moaned and she descended further until he filled her, and _wow_ it was amazing.

The feeling of his fingers twisting in her hair was exciting, but the soft "Kens" from the head of the bed made her want to suck him every day for the rest of her life as long as he would just keep saying her name like that. As if on cue he whispered it again and tugged at her curls. That was enough, no more teasing. Working in rhythm together, she stroked him slow and hard while her tongue danced the length of his shaft and teeth just barely grazed the sensitive skin. God, she loved giving head and it had been way too long since her last time doing it. Every moan and thrust from her partner empowered her, the taste and feel of every unique detail thrilled her.

It probably thrilled her a little too much because she began physically aching for any kind of contact. She snuck a hand between her legs and couldn't hold back the moan that reverberated from her throat and caused Deeks to whimper with delight. Suddenly her head was pulled up and she released him with a pop. He was staring at her with wild eyes and trying to summon her up to his mouth with insistent tugging at her hair. "You okay?" Kensi asked breathlessly as she crawled to meet his face to face.

Never freeing her hair from his grip, he surprised her by immediately bringing his lips to hers and kissing her deeply. She sighed and fell into him, dying for his tongue to explore the rest of her body the same way it was working her mouth. "You are fucking amazing," he murmured against her lips.

And then his hands were on her waist, pulling her up the length of his body while his mouth desperately kissed her shoulders, breasts, and stomach until her nose hit the headboard with a thump. That didn't stop him from pushing her even further up, his hot breath igniting little fires against her skin. She grabbed the headboard for support and instantly regretted not performing some sort of striptease for him. Those damn lace panties were now the only thing keeping her separated from his sweet mouth and tongue and _dammit_, why was he was just letting her hover above him? She was about to lose her mind already.

Kensi had to remind herself to breathe as she clutched onto the headboard like a tornado was about to sweep her away to the world of O, where she'd follow the yellow brick road to Orgasm City. Hell, she was already halfway there and she still had her underwear on. She dared to look down, wondering what the hell he was doing, and he smiled. That's what that beautiful devil of a man was waiting on. Eye contact. If only he knew what kind of effect he had on her without even touching her.

Slowly, so painfully slowly, he wrapped his arms around her thighs. She couldn't help but close her eyes while he peppered scruffy, tickling kisses across the inside of her thighs. But just when she thought she was ready and able for anything, he dragged his tongue up the pink lace and lightly sucked at her through the fabric. _Good Lord._ She gasped, her legs started to tremble, and she might have started panting just a little as he did it again, and again, and again. Dammit, the teasing was so good but she wanted, needed, more.

If a complete sentence could have actually been formed in her brain, she'd ask him for more. But there were so few words that she could think of in between her moans and whimpers. "Off?" She managed to squeak out.

"Aw," he replied, voice muffled. His hands roamed over the curves of her ass, slipping under the lace. "I kinda like them."

She groaned. "You can fucking keep them as a souvenir if you want, just take them off." Her legs were shaking but she tried to stand up anyway. Deeks chuckled and helped her wiggle ungracefully out of the offensive item of clothing. As soon as he untangled them from her foot and blindly tossed them to floor, his biceps gripped her thighs again and trapped her against his face.

The collar of his shirt tickled her for a second. She'd forgotten he still had it on and it was a bit distracting until he finally touched her with his tongue. She was seeing stars immediately and all thoughts of his clothing were gone. It was possible that she'd never leave this position again. Step aside Disneyland, the happiest place on Earth was actually sitting on Marty Deeks' face. He gripped her tightly, forcing her to stay still as he methodically ran his tongue everywhere but exactly where she needed him to be. But she wouldn't beg, not now, not ever. Threatening physical harm, that would have been a possibility if not for the gentle way his fingers were tracing the contours of her body, from her back down to her thighs over and over again as if he was memorizing every detail.

Kensi tried to focus on everything but the wonderful yet agonizing path of Deeks' mouth and hands; her white knuckles clenching the headboard, the small beads of sweat forming at the base of her neck, the smell and taste of Cabernet still on her lips from their kiss earlier, the fact that she was so close to having everything she's been wanting for so long. None of these thoughts were helping to delay the tension spreading through her body or the euphoria threatening to complete take her over.

Then she noticed how cold she suddenly felt. His hands were no longing roaming, his mouth no longer exploring. The room was eerily silent with the only sounds being her own ragged breath and pounding heart. Her breathing soon became even louder and more erratic. A single finger began to stroke her, spreading her open so it could slide inside and he finally, finally, made the contact she desperately needed with his tongue. She bent in half, nearly slamming her head on the wooden headboard, and grunted some sort of word closely resembling '_fuckity_'. All senses were on overload and she didn't know how much more she could withstand.

Should she stop him? In her (many) fantasies about Deeks, she always came when he was inside of her, fucking her senseless with his hands in her hair and his teeth on her breasts. But this was good, so very very good, and she didn't think she could stop him even if her hair was on fire. She probably wouldn't even notice if her hair was on fire. Maybe her hair actually was on fire, because her face was incredibly flushed and the heat was spreading down, down, down..._Oh God_.

As if he knew what was about to happen, Deeks wrapped his free arm around her back to keep her steady as she cried out. She wasn't usually a screamer, but anyone in the surrounding rooms sure as hell shared her orgasm with her. They wouldn't know that her release was filled with memories of anger and sadness and unfulfilled fantasies that were being replaced with pure unadulterated happiness. They didn't know how much she needed him and how long she'd been waiting. As far as anyone else could tell, they were just like any other young couple making passionate love to each other. Maybe for the first time, they actually were.

Slowly her grip on the headboard began to loosen, her fingers squeaking along the wood as she sank into the pillows. Deeks scooted to the foot of the bed just in time to avoid getting stuck under the melting form of his partner. Still on her knees, she was curled into a little ball as she tried to regain her composure, her sight, and possibly her consciousness. She could hear him rustling around, finally removing his shirt and reaching for the nightstand drawer. Of course he had remembered to unpack condoms. In another time and place she would be making fun of his hyper organizational skills, but tonight? Hell no.

Deeks draped his body over her like a warm blanket, nuzzling his face into her neck. "You good?"

His breath gave her a chill, causing goosebumps to prickle over her skin. "Fantastic," she said, the ragged sound of her own voice taking her by surprise. It sounded like she'd been fucking for hours even though technically she was still waiting for the chance to really get started.

Sweeping her hair away from her neck, he began a journey that made her trembling start all over again. It started with a tug of her ear between his teeth, then he dragged his lips across the nape of her neck to her scratched shoulders. Kensi didn't know if she was hearing things but it sounded like he whispered an apology while he kissed the reddened skin. Unclasping her bra, he slipped it off without ever taking his lips off of her. Every kiss sent little shocks through her already buzzing body.

It wasn't like his mouth hadn't already done enough damage to her, but he seemed bound and determined to literally kiss every inch of her body. A slightly nervous feeling formed in her belly as he descended lower and lower, unsure of what exactly he was planning and where she would draw the line (she was kidding herself, there was no line). He started to massage her breasts and she relaxed, humming appreciatively. But, she let her guard down a little too soon. That damned tongue of his started running up the contour of her spine and she couldn't control her gasp and the arching of her back as every nerve started tingling. Any power she may have had in this was long gone. She was his now, and loving every second of it.

Kensi blindly reached behind her, desperately trying to touch him. She found his knee first and used his leg as her guide to the hardness he was depriving her of. Her touch elicited a moan as he thrust into her palm. "What are you doing to me, Deeks?" This teasing was driving her mad; she needed him inside of her, the sooner and deeper the better.

"I, um." Was Deeks speechless? If only she'd known a long time ago that grabbing his dick was the best way to make him shut up. "Pretty sure you already know the answer to that question."

She squeezed him, rubbing her thumb over the tip of his cock. "No more teasing. What do you want?"

It wasn't his smoothest move of the night, in fact it was a little awkward, but he tried to flip Kensi onto her back without thinking of the consequences of the tight grip she had on him. They ended up falling into a tangled mess of arms and legs and laughter. It was nice and it was comfortable, like it was perfectly natural for them to be lying in a naked, sweaty state with each other. Everything seemed so easy this time around, even if they weren't quite ready for any Cirque de Soleil type acrobatic moves.

"This," Deeks answered when he finished chuckling at their clumsiness. Struck by the sight of her bare breasts below him, his eyes widened and he licked his lips. "You." He kissed the tip of her chin. "And everything that comes with it."

Lightly scratching her nails across his chest, she looped a leg over his back. "So what are you waiting for?" They were painfully close now, and why did he have to be so slow and calculated? Although, that might work to her advantage if he would ever just...

_Finally. It was about time_. He picked the condom up and studied it for a moment before ripping the wrapper open. Kensi also looked extra hard at the wrapper and mentally patted herself on the back for remembering and buying his preferred style. Then she watched him, because wow. Just wow.

"Wow," she whispered.

"What?"

"Nothing," she replied quickly.

"Hmm." His smile was delightfully wicked. He grabbed a spare pillow and placed it between them. Positioning himself between her legs, he grabbed her knees and tugged her ass on top of it. Finally, assertive Deeks had returned with a vengeance. One hand cupped her neck and he sucked on her bottom lip while he guided himself with the other, slowly easing his way inside her. It seemed like an eternity, but a heavenly eternity. She sighed happily and pressed her lips to his, opening her mouth to him as he filled her completely.

He tasted of her and she loved it. He wasn't gentle and she loved it. A blond curl flicked her nose with every thrust and his beard scratched her face and neck and breasts, but she loved all of that, too. She loved that he moved inside of her like he knew everything she wanted and slipped his hand between her legs right when she needed it. Him clinging to her and the sound of him moaning her name as he came inside her...love. But what she loved most of all was him.

He was worth the wait.

* * *

**The last chapter will be a bit shorter than the middle ones, but there was no way I could squeeze it all into 4 chapters this time. Also, I'd just like to comment that obviously I don't take myself too seriously. Yes, I make things silly, even the smutty things. It's just my way. :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks so much for the reviews and great comments from all of you guys. It really does make me feel awesome. Well, this is the final chapter. It's been fun. :) And thanks again to Apryl for putting up with me and to Brenda for pushing (shoving?) me along. :)**

* * *

The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and the wind was blowing in their hair. Every possible cliché for driving through California on a beautiful day was true. Although, Kensi and Deeks were so high on life that a tsunami could have been heading in their direction and they wouldn't have paid a damn bit of attention.

Frankly, five days of non-stop sex would alter anyone's perception of reality. With the exception of hunting for food and drinks, the pair never left their room. It made sense to Kensi why Deeks wanted to fill their second day of vacation with so many activities; he intended to spend the remainder of his trip filling her.

For the first time in what felt like forever, she was truly happy. Her face was literally hurting from the permanent smile plastered across it. She was sure all the other oral activities had something to do with it too, but now that they were on their way home, Deeks was focused more on her smile than anything else.

"You're kinda scaring me," he shouted above the wind. Turning his head for a moment, he flashed his own smile that threatened to outshine the sun. "I have never, in the um, four? Four. Four years I've known you, seen you smile for this long. It's almost as terrifying as your laugh."

Kensi opened her mouth to respond, only to have the wind blow her ponytail into it. She stuck out her tongue and pulled off the hairs, making an offended face. "Me being happy is terrifying to you?"

"Not at all. It's kinda scary in a good way."

She could barely hear him over the wind and road noise. A good kind of scary? Like going on a road trip without a map scary? That was basically the state of their relationship at this point. The gears in her head started turning, and the real Kensi started shoving vacation-Kensi out of the way. What if they got lost along the way again? Oh no, thinking was not what she needed to be doing. Thinking was bad. The closer they got to Los Angeles, the more her smile faded. "Where are we going?"

Deeks furrowed his brow. "LA...we're getting pretty close. You okay?"

"I know where, I just mean...I don't know."

The Jeep then veered off the road and onto an overgrown dirt road. Scowling, Deeks pressed down on the parking brake and turned to share his look of displeasure with Kensi. "Alright, what's up?"

"Just thinking," she shrugged.

"Now this," he pointed to her changed expression. "Is the Kensi I know and...recognize."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Super serious spy Kensi, always on the lookout for something. So what did you find on your journey of contemplation?"

Kensi grunted. "You're still weird."

"Not as weird as you, my little freaky deaky."

"Deeks-"

"I hope nobody takes a black light to that room we just left, cause wow, talk about a light show."

She tried, really tried, to keep up the appearance of being unfazed by their pending arrival back home. A certain nagging feeling wasn't going away: the knowledge that everything now would be completely different from when they left. "There's a whole week left of vacation. What do we do now? I have things I would like to do, ya know, non-Deeks things. And then when we go back to work, how do we know that it won't go straight to hell again?" She sighed. "Our lives are difficult and complex. This trip was too perfect. I don't know what to do when the imperfect takes over again."

"Is that what you want, perfection?" He grabbed her hand, bring the palm of it to his lips. "Cause I ain't perfect. Neither are you."

"I know." Closing her eyes, she breathed in the fresh air and the feel of his lips on her hand, her wrist, and the little nook in her elbow as he pulled her closer to him. "I kind of like your imperfection."

"I'll take it," he said with a smile. "Look, I know you're worried about work, and I am too. But there's a week left for us to get back to our imperfect world, and when we do go back, it's not going to be like the Day That Shall Not Be Spoken Of again."

She raised an eyebrow. "It has a name now?"

Deeks nodded, nudging the soft skin of her arm with his nose. "Yes it does, and we shall not speak of it."

"You're so dramatic."

"This is true."

She ran a hand through his wind-blown hair. "I kind of like that about you, too." And by that, she meant everything. She kind of liked everything about him.

"Good." He pulled away from her and Kensi pouted in protest. "Really? You want to here?"

She shrugged. "We could christen the backseat-" Deeks grinned and looked away guiltily. "Yeah, nevermind, I don't want to know how many asses this backseat has seen."

"Yeah, yeah. How about this," he said as he released the parking brake. Tilting his head to her, he squeezed her knee and ran his hand up the inside of her thigh. It didn't matter how many times he had touched her in the last few days, that still drove her wild. "Our plan for now is that I'll go home, you go home, and we'll pretend that we're normal people and take it from there for the next few days, yeah?"

Her smile was returning again. "Normal people that shoot bad guys together and just spent the last week, well almost a week, fucking like the world is about to end?"

Shifting into reverse, he copied her smile. "Exactly."

* * *

After a quick trip to see her mother, in which she managed to avoid all intimate details of her vacation despite the all-knowing looks she was receiving, the first night back home was as smooth as could be. She slept for nearly twelve hours and woke up feeling like a million bucks. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard for them to be "normal" after all.

Deeks texted her at one in the morning on their second night apart.

_*i kinda miss sleeping with my favorite human starfish*_

Kensi smiled sleepily and ran a hand over the cold and very empty side of her bed before texting back.

_*i'm sleeping great. i don't miss your snoring*_

Snorting, she imagined the look of disbelief that was assuredly on his face as he read that message. He wrote back almost instantly.

_*that's because i don't snore, you do*_

_*must be why i don't miss it :)*_

_*gnite kens*_

_*goodnight deeks*_

Her chest tightened as she placed her phone back on the nightstand. Why did she miss him so much after only two days? She grabbed her phone again and sent one more message.

_*i miss u 2*_

On the third day, Kensi was sorting through her dirty laundry from the trip and noticed the absence of a particular matching set of pink lace undergarments. After ransacking her bag and her entire apartment, she called Deeks for some answers.

"Well, hello there."

"Hey, um," she cringed. "Did some of my underwear end up in your bag?"

"Are you just now doing your laundry?"

"Noooo..." she lied.

"That's kinda gross."

"Shut up," she growled. "Do you have my stuff or not?"

Deeks chuckled on the other end of the line. "Yes. Hand-washed and air-dried, even though you probably would have just thrown them in the washer and dryer. And before you ask, I didn't take them on purpose."

"If you say so."

"I do say so." He cleared his throat. "So, you wanna grab something to eat today?"

Kensi grinned. Laundry could wait just a little longer. An hour later she arrived at his door with Korean take-out. Two minutes after that, the food was on table, his hand was up her shirt, and her hand was down his pants. He kissed her like she'd been gone for months, the way he should have kissed her when she came back from Afghanistan, as he pressed her into the lumpy cushions of his couch. The bed was just too far away.

The next night he showed up at her place with cheeseburgers and surprisingly, Merlot. Breakfast, and then second breakfast, was served in bed the following morning.

On the last day before work, they agreed not to see or talk to each other. They'd have to keep up the appearance of missing each other when they returned to work, after all. Those twenty-four hours were unbelievably brutal, but necessary. The hope was that their return to work wouldn't be nearly as painful.

* * *

Kensi stood outside the Mission and gathered her thoughts before the inevitable onslaught of questions that would be hurled her way. Good vacation yes, ready to be back at work. Great vacation? Fantastic? There was no need to lie, really. It was possible to say you had a wonderful vacation without having to explain the countless number of orgasms. Nobody really wanted to know that anyway. Except maybe Nell, but she'd save that story for a much later time.

Walking in confidently, she threw her messenger bag on the floor next to her desk. "Good morning," she announced her presence cheerily. Sam and Callen shared a look across their desks. Deeks was still not in yet, she noticed. Not atypical for him.

"Good vacation?" Sam asked, struggling not to smile.

"The best," Kensi replied. Oh man, she shouldn't have said it was the best.

Callen raised his eyebrows. "Really? The best? Where did you go again?"

She plastered a smile across her face. "Ojai, the spirituality resort. Released some of this tension I had, cleared my mind, ya know?" Except for the location, that technically was all truthful.

"Hmm," Sam hummed. "Well, you're glowing."

"Ah, um." Kensi sat down and started shuffling through the papers on her desk. "Thanks." A flash of sunlight caught her attention as Deeks opened the door to the Mission. She tried to calm her fluttering heart and act completely normal, but it was damn hard when he looked so fucking sexy. How dare he wear that v-neck shirt that showed off his arms. And now that vacation was over, he had abandoned his shorts for the impossibly tight jeans again. She wondered how hard it was to get them off. It sounded like a fun challenge for after work, or lunch break, or a quick trip to the burn room.

_Shit, he looked way too happy._ "Good morning, everyone!"

Sam and Callen exchanged another look, but Kensi spoke up before they could say anything. "Morning, partner. Good vacation?"

"Oh yeah, it was the best."

Kensi clenched her jaw, but Deeks wasn't facing her and couldn't see her reaction. She dropped her head and began shuffling through papers. Callen cocked his head at his partner and Sam smiled widely. "Yeah? Where did you go? I could really use a good vacation spot."

"Surfing in Mexico, it was amazing," Deeks lied easily. "Sun, sand, water. Really cleared my head."

Nope, she was definitely not going to look at anybody now. Her paperwork was suddenly terribly interesting.

"Things have been pretty tense lately," Callen nudged at Deeks.

"Yeah, no kidding." Deeks began unpacking his bag onto his desk. Kensi could feel his eyes burning into her, but she was not going to look at him. "So, did we miss anything?"

"Hetty's still not back, Nell is tearing through here like a ginger tornado, and Granger is-" Callen curled his lips. "Well, he's just Granger. But with a beard."

Sam leaned back in his chair. "G is back on the market."

"Awwww," Kensi said, turning to Callen. He didn't appear heartbroken. "Or, yay?" Awkwardly, she finally looked at Deeks for help. Of course he was grinning at her like an idiot, and she couldn't help but smile back.

Deeks shoved a hand in his pocket, speaking to Callen but never taking his eyes off of her. "Are they uh, offering senior citizen discounts on the dating market now?"

"Ooooh," Sam and Kensi murmured in unison.

"Don't feed the troll." Callen glared at his partner. "And the breakup was mutual, I'll have you know."

"There's a fine, fine line..." a singing voice from the second floor balcony interrupted. "Between love and a waste of time..."

The three agents and lone detective all looked up slowly to find Eric leaning over the railing. He looked quite proud of himself until he realized they all appeared confused by his choice of song. "I uh, overheard part of the conversation, and I just," he stammered. "Well, ya know. Um, we've got a case."

"That was weird," Kensi commented, pushing herself up out of her chair.

"Not really," Sam said.

"Yeah, apparently Nell told him he had a voice for Broadway," Callen added, walking beside his partner. "I think she said it sarcastically, but he's graced us with his God-given talent for show tunes every day for the last week and a half."

"Awesome," Deeks groaned. Standing in the center of the bullpen, he waited for Kensi to join him before heading towards the stairs. Giving her a quick once-over, he grinned widely."You ready, partner?"

She greeted him with a small smile and a shoulder nudge. "Let's do this."

* * *

Kensi was in the NCIS gym, reacquainting herself with an old friend, the Nexercys. She wasn't angry or lonely or in need of anything in particular that day, but just something about sneaking away and pounding her fists against an inanimate object sounded like an excellent idea.

It wasn't as easy as she thought it would be this time, pretending like nothing had changed between her and Deeks. Granted, her day wasn't nearly as difficult as the Day That Shall Not Be Spoken Of. Only a handful of days in the past year were as trying as that one. At least he seemed completely unfazed by their secret change in status. She hoped that she appeared the same way to everyone else on their team.

Something happened while they were out in the field that actually made her question whether they could still be partners day in and day out. It was just a routine search of the victim's apartment, but an unusual noise startled both of them and they pulled their weapons. The noise turned out to be just a cat that had jumped in through an open window, but Kensi noticed that the rush of adrenaline she felt was much intense than it should have been for such a mild situation.

She, like many other agents, had lost a partner before and had been paranoid about it happening again for a while. What she felt in that moment wasn't paranoia, it was pure fear. Horrible images flashed through her mind as she'd watched him walk over to check out the cat. Dom's death, watching Deeks' handler Jess and then a year later Agent Hunter die in explosions, pressing her hand as hard as she possibly could on Renko's neck to try to keep him from bleeding to death, finding Deeks and Sam after being tortured- all memories she wished she could forget and hoped would never be replaced by even more terrifying ones.

They chose their lives and their careers knowing how dangerous it could be. But it wasn't her own life she worried over, it was the freaking beautiful idiot talking to a stray cat during an investigation. The same freaking idiot that somehow had wormed his way into her life and her heart. She couldn't lose him, that much she'd known for a long time. More than that though, she didn't think she could handle watching him die.

Kensi punched the Nexercys over and over again, trying to ignore whoever had entered the gym behind her. It had been over a month since she had punched the shit out of something, and it was an amazing release for her troubles. Not troubles really, just concerns. And fears. And how did she let things change in her mind so quickly? Why was she already starting to question everything already?

The answer was pretty obvious, but she pretended to be oblivious to the depth of her feelings for her partner. Deeks wasn't the only idiot; she was a pretty big one, too.

She paused and stood at attention, sensing the presence of someone familiar standing close to her. Placing her hands on her hips, she spoke without turning around. "Enjoying the view?"

"Yes, actually, I am," Deeks responded. "But I was also wondering why you're hiding in the gym."

"Not hiding. Exercising," she said with a sigh.

"Hmm." He took a step closer to her. "You know, this is something else that's also a lot more fun with two people instead of one."

Snorting, she turned around to face him and did a double take. He was in workout clothes and holding two pairs of training gloves and head guards. "You're serious?"

"Why not? Unless you're scared, of course," he teased, tossing her a set of gear.

"Please," she scowled, removing her boxing gloves. "Are you sure this has nothing to do with your desire to pin me to the ground?"

A grin spread across his face as he geared up. "It has everything to do with that. And if I lose and you end up on top of me, that's just as good, too. Really, I win either way."

"Uh huh." Kensi pounded her fists together nervously and swallowed hard. She wasn't quite sure this was a good idea. "I uh, I'm not sure if I can do this."

"Why, because of your tendency towards violent behavior?" His voice sounded like he was joking, but his face was serious.

"Well-" she shrugged. "Yeah. I've been trying to do better about that but I'm a little gun shy, with you in particular."

He tilted his head. "Do you think I'm actually going to hurt you?"

"Of course not," she answered quickly.

"Then I expect the same from you." Sticking his mouth guard in, he grinned at her.

She narrowed her eyes and inserted her own mouth guard and tried to talk. "Do you mean right now or is that more of a general statement about our future?" She sounded ridiculous with her mouth piece in, but Deeks understood her anyway.

"Could be applied to multiple things," he mumbled while backing up towards the padded floor mats. "So are you gonna tell me why you were hiding?"

They both settled into a basic fighting stance, with their bodies low and right legs back as they slowly circled around each other. Kensi quickly scratched her nose and held her hand back up again. "Don't get mad, but I was just thinking about whether or not we should still be partners."

"What?" He stood upright and she took advantage, moving in quickly and lightly punching his gut. Before she could hit him again, he grabbed her wrist, twisted, and shoved her away from him.

She circled him again, trying to word her thoughts in such a way that he would understand her. "You're the best partner I've ever had, Deeks, and it's our job to keep each other safe. I guess I'm just worried about the consequences if I fail at my job." She lunged at him but he dodged her easily. "It might kill me."

Trying one more time, Kensi rushed towards him. This time, instead of dodging, Deeks waited until she was close enough to grab her. Before she could squirm away, he placed her in a guillotine hold with his arm wrapped around her neck. "Okay, and I can't say that I don't have those same thoughts from time to time." A tap on his leg and unhappy grunt signaled her admission of defeat, so he released her. "But it's just our first day back. Let's give it some time before we start panicking and sending out resumés, yeah?"

Seeing Deeks act so relaxed about her worries calmed her down a little bit. "Okay. That's fair." He skirted his hand behind her and tugged her ponytail playfully. "That wasn't fair, though." With a quick jut of her kneecap into the back of his knee she was able to push him backwards on to the mat and pin him down in the mount position, with her legs on either side of his chest and hand on his shoulder.

"Not too shabby," he complimented her.

"Thanks."

"You still have a lot to learn, though." And just like that, he flipped her onto her back and pinned her just as she had done to him. Wrapping one arm under her neck, he used his knee to trap her underarm and his free hand to pin her arm against her face. Her upper body was completely immobilized. "Like the fact that you actually need to perform a submission hold when you have your opponent on the ground."

Even though she was losing this sparring match, Kensi was quite enjoying herself. If she could just make her mind slow down enough to relish every fun moment with him, they might have a fighting chance to be happy. His grip loosened but he remained on top of her, staring at her in a way that made her heart start racing as fast as her mind had been before. Oh, the things just a look from him could do to her.

"Hi," he said softly, taking his mouth guard out. Running a thumb over her mouth, he tugged on her bottom lip before pulling hers out as well.

_They should stop, they should stop, they should stop._ "Hey yourself," she choked out.

"We should probably get up," he spoke hesitantly.

"We should definitely get up."

"There are cameras."

Kensi shifted slightly underneath his weight. "Yeah, but Hetty's not here, so who's watching?"

"Good point." Pulling her head up with his arm, he tried his best to reach her lips with his despite their obstructive head protection. The feather-light touch of his lips was a stark contrast to the much rougher feel of his hand as it roamed inside her fitted shirt.

Kensi moaned, scratching her nails up his leg, until the sound of creaking and smug laughter at the entrance of the gym startled her. _Shit._ "Shit, shit," she hissed.

"Shit, shit, shit," he echoed, pulling his hand away from her chest like it was on fire. They were both frozen like deer in the headlights, just waiting for the inevitable crash about to happen.

Straining their necks, they saw Sam saunter into the gym with his a large smile on his face. His smile faltered at the sight of the junior partners in their slightly compromising position on the floor in front of him. Throwing her head back against the mat, Kensi groaned and wracked her brain for a reasonable explanation. MMA training? Well, that was kind of true. Deeks did mention she had a lot to learn, and she supposed he could be teaching her how to escape from being held to the ground by an extremely hot man in gym shorts...

Sam blinked his eyes, then quickly turned around and headed towards the door again. "G, man, I completely forgot to show you what I did to my car."

Kensi and Deeks shared a confused look, listening intently to the conversation between the other set of partners as it got harder and harder to hear.

"What are you talking about, Sam?"

"Yeah, I got a new pinstripe, you've got to see it."

"Oh yeah? What color did you get this time?"

"Storm silver metallic."

"So, gray again."

"Gray is something you would get, this isn't just any gray."

The voices eventually disappeared completely and they were left, dazed, in the quiet of the gym again. "Did Sam just catch us?" Deeks asked.

"And then cover for us?" Kensi added, incredulous.

Chuckling, he shook his head. "Think about it, though. If anyone gets it, he does. Him and Michelle."

"Oh yeah." She looked up at him and he gazed down at her. It was so natural, falling into a relationship with someone you trusted with your life. The transition from partners, to friends, and then to lovers wasn't seamless for them but still felt so, so right. "Working side by side..."

"Seven days a week..." he continued.

"Months on end..." Kensi thought she was about to melt under his gaze, and her heart started its usual Deeks-induced pounding as he smiled sweetly at her before finishing her thought.

"They fell in love."


End file.
